"In my end is my beginning"-T.S. Elliot

I wanted to start this entry with a quote. A quote that sums up my crazy year here at Michigan State University. I picked this one because I know that the end of this year has brought a new time in my life. This year was far from ideal, not my typical idea of an awesome college experience. I had a lot of changes that I was going through, some issues that I needed to deal with before I was happy. This year was different. All my friends were doing there own thing and had their own battles to fight. Feeling that loneliness was one of the triggers. For the first time since I had started college I felt alone, more so than when I knew hardly anyone and had no friends as a scared little Freshman. I was not ready, or prepared, to deal with this. Everyone in my life could tell I wasn't myself, I knew I was not myself. It was hard for me to see myself and know I couldn't do anything to help me. I tried to be happy, but that isn't so easy for anyone who has tried it. Happiness comes from somewhere deep inside and even though you tell yourself you want to be happy, it doesn't always work. I thank God everyday that Jason was here for me. If I didn't have him, I would have been lost. He made me want to be myself again. he knew I was different but not as different as my friends had noticed. I think this is why he was nicer about it, that and the fact that he loved me. :) It was frustrating seeing myself, I can imagine how it seemed on the outside.

This year was a hard one for me. Thank-fully I got some help from my lurvely gyno. Lol. I am able to laugh, and hang out, and do the stuff I always had fun doing. It feels awesome on so many levels. So this is why the ending to this year is the beginning of something better for me. I just want to say thanks to everyone that stuck around, and I am glad I stuck around for others too. I think this year was crazy for everyone, and I am really looking forward to next year. I hope it will be my year finally. We will see. Until next time fellow bloggers! xoxo

I am officially addicted to Twilight, there is nothing that I could have done to stop myself from falling in love with the characters, their perfections, flaws, emotions, passion. To feel like Bella, to have someone be so passionately commited to you...wouldn't that be nice? My boyfriend would probably read this and say, "Thanks A lot", but I know he loves me. I love him, there is no one else for me. The love-obsessed girl in me just thinks that Edward is so, haha lack of a better word... dreamy.You can't read the books and not feel what the characters feel when they are hurt, sad, happy, anxious. I love feeling those feelings; all too often the real world doesn't afford us the chance to experience such strong emotions. We go about our day as usual....often times nothing too exciting happening. At least for me. Its fun to escape into a fantasy world, I love having insight into a world that isn't mine. So there it is, my obsession for Twilight is now written openly for everyone to see, I can't deny it anymore. I am a Twilight Fan. :)

Moving on, my roommates have all decided to put their beds in the other room, and so I am alone in my room.... mostly reading Twilight to pass the time. Its okay, being alone is not always a bad thing. Just sometimes, you can feel a little left out. Oh well, I am not that bothered by it. i go about doing my own thing. Whether it means snuggling up in my loft or randomly going to the library with Leah. I know it's the library, but it's one of my favorite things to do on a weeknight. Usually, when your hangin' out with a friend, little things become sooo much more fun. That's why I like hanging out at the library with Leah, its more like just chelaxin' than studyin'. It, at least, gets me out of my one-bedded room where I sit and bullshit around until bed time. So, bring on the library! lol

My Roommates empty loft

Move out is nearing....Jason is coming up this weekend and helping me take down my loft. I feel like I am going to need the extra help. I hope, he doesn't know this yet, that he will take my futon back with him when he goes home. lol. He is not going to like that idea, but I think I can get him to do it. For a buschel of kisses and a dozen hugs. :) I am hoping all of my finals go well. I think I have it pretty easy this semester so hopefully I can get out of here with the least amount of damage to my grade point. I am actually really proud of myself this semester.... I kicked ass. Now the biggest challenge on my plate is finding a summer job. Yikes, that just sounds daunting. At least my mom is not pressuring me....she said I could babysit if I am unable to acquire a job. Thank-God! I was afraid she would rip me a new one if I didn't come home with a job lined up.



As I look at my laptop seeing the fortunes I have taped to it, I thought I would share with you them. They are favs, which is why they are always here to remind me of them. Each has special meaning for me. :)

" Don't pursue happiness-create it"

" Money is the root of all evil and man needs roots"

" An unexpected relationship will become permanent"




You can always count on fortune cookies to leave you with some insightful comments that leave you hoping for something perfect to occur in your sudden future..... Love You Fellow Bloggers!

I hope everyone was outside enjoying the weather.....Ash and I laid outside for hours soaking up the sun's rays. We enjoyed our homemade cocktails that Ash made for us. I left it in her capable hands; she is after all a bartender. My freckles came out to play and I have a feeling they will be here for awhile. I am reading the second book in the Twilight series, and am obsessed. Jasper just tried to attack Bella and it was soooo intense. I LOVE IT!!!!
I am planning on reading some more tonight before we go and see MILK. It should be good, I have never seen it before. Tommorrow I am seeing Lion King @ the Wharton Center and I can't wait. My mom and aunt are coming up so it should be funnity fun fun.
I am so excited for summer to start and not have to worry about classes for awhile. Although, I have yet to find a summer job, so that kind of puts a damper on the whole fun aspect that summer has to offer. Maybe I will just start to sell my body for money..... its easier than filling out an application. haha. Joking! Anyways, I don't think the bf or gf would be quite that pleased with me if I took up that line of work. Speaking of girlfriends, mine and I are celebrating our two year anniversary! Can you believe it! It has been two of the most memorable years of our lives! We celebrated by supporting the Queens at the 7th Annual MSU Drag Queen show that was held last night. Oh the laughs we had.
Anyways, I should probably get going. I have some reading to do and a shower to take. Take care my fellow bloggers! Love Ya!

Doodle Dooodle Dee

Once again I am sitting in class....

A fellow student is talking about how her husband and her were both carriers for cystic fibrosis, and all three of her children have it. It is so sad to hear her talk about it, while she is on the verge of tears. She says she will have to watch all three of her children die, I want to give her a hug. She is so strong. I just wonder sometimes, what is the purpose of the suffering of these children, of these parents? She said she goes to school just to keep her sanity. This is really heart-wrenching. And there is nothing that can be done because Cystic Fibrosis is terminal. I want to cry...this was too much for 8:30 in the morning. It really makes you value your life, and know that there are other people in this world that are battling things far beyond what you go through. Maybe that is God's plan. People go through these things so that others around them will value their own life and be thank-ful for all that they were given. Isn't that what God wants? I believe we go through challenges to be stronger, sometimes the challenges are bigger than others, and some are so small you barely notice them.


I guess Easter is a perfect time to examine these types of things. I mean, Jesus suffered and died on the cross for us; maybe people need to face challenges in order to save others. Like Jesus did for all of us. Idk, I am just thinking out loud. Maybe what I say makes no sense. But I guess it is good to think about these things every so often. It is good to have your eyes opened now and then. So, on that note; I hope everyone has a wonderful Easter and don't forget its real meaning!


Until next time, fellow bloggers! Happy Easter!

Hello, I am sitting at my desk, supposed to be doing homework, but blogging instead. I wrote earlier that I left my keys on the bus, and yet there they were...in my backpack. After searching like 20 buses and making a fool out of myself I thought I would check my backpack one more time and sure enough, they were there. I did NOT take the #30 home safe to say. Anyways, I would really like to talk about something that is very near to my heart.... Blogging Peer Pressure. If you experience the things I am about to list, you may be feeling the effects of Blogging Peer Pressure.

• Someone leaves you threatening comments on facebook demanding that you update your blog
• You constantly feel like your blogs will never be approved of by your followers

• Finally, when you become addicted....those same supposed "Blogger Friends" will not be there during your recovery.

Now that I have talked about that I feel as though I have done my part in the cause to end blogging peer pressure. On another note...I miss my gf. I have not seen her for two days and she will not return my texts. I know she is sleepy but it saddens me when we are apart. I can't wait until next year when I will be able to cook her dinner. :) I love to cook. Anyways, until next time....xoxo fellow bloggers!



Me and the Girlfriend!

Bored

So I am sitting in class listening to my teacher talk about who knows what, and I am continually asking myself "Should I be taking notes?". You would think since I am in class I should be, but I am not sure if what he is talking about right now has anything to do with class or if it is just a tangent. Oh, he just tied it into something he wrote on the overhead projector; it must be legit. Damn it! I thought I could blog some more. Well, I should be honest with myself, I am going to keep blogging.
Anyways, so I am having a pretty good day. Lately I have been in the Twilight Zone. I pulled a "poser" all-nighter and then yesterday I slept my life away. And therefore, got nothing accomplished. So now I have to do everything today. F my L. And to top it off, I left my wallet on the bus. AGAIN! I seriously think my life is a broken shoe.... but I am still in a good mood. Oh, and once again I forgot to take my Birth Control on time b/c I was, like I said earlier, sleeping my life away.
Well, its my one year anniversary with my wonderful boyfriend Jason. I am so excited to celebrate, if you know what I mean. LOL. But seriously, I am excited to see him. He's been really great to me, when at times I didn't feel like I had anyone. I get slack for being with him too much, but sometimes my friends don't understand. I need to find a balance between them and him and it's taking me awhile. I am new at it. Before Jason, I never had to divide my time. So of course, I am not going to be perfect at it. And, it hurts my feelings when they get upset with me, because to me, it seems like they don't care about my happiness. And I know that it comes from missing me and missing hanging out with me, but it still hurts. So, I cling to him more. Because he doesn't judge me and he loves me unconditionally. It's nice to feel so loved. And, for this last year I have been made to feel like a princess, when at times I would just like to cry. I thank him for that.
So anways, now that I have that off my chest I guess I should finish up this blog entry. My computer is about to die and I have yet to know what my teacher is talking about. Until next time fellow bloggers! Love You!

We All Know We Do It....

Don't you hate it when your computer makes an awkward squeak? It has happened to everyone. Whether it be in a library when there is only a handful of watchful eyes on you...or a classroom with 500 eyes turning to look at you. I put it on the same level as stomach growling. There is nothing worse then an awkward computer squeak or a tummy growl. Well, unless you shit your pants. That would suck. But that doesn't happen as often. I want to play hide and seek. The song by Imogen Heap! Kidding! I actually want to hide in the library while the girlfriend searches for me. We have been hitting a rough patch lately. We don't talk over our computers like we used to. I think a good game of Hide-and-Seek would really do the trick. I hope she reads this and asks me to play. I love you fellow bloggers! Ciao!

I Wish I Could Pay Someone To Bring Me Jimmy Johns.....

So, I hate people that drive minivans. They think they own the world. But they don't. I'm looking out the window of the library and I see a minivan just driving around in circles. Like a dog chasing its tail. They don't rule the world either. My dog is going deaf. And blind. She's a better dog now. It's sad to say but true. She does not bark anymore. The barking got old. Speaking of barking, my girlfriend is really getting on my case about how I can't do anything right when it comes to computers. It's not my fault Delilah hates me! Uggh, I had to get that off my chest. Anyways, so I wish I had really profound questions about sex, like Carrie from Sex and the City. I guess she was a real writer, well her author, so she would be better at writing. I am just a newbie. I feel, however, that I have written some very thought provoking things so far. Until next time, Keep on blogging fellow bloggers! Bye!

There's Sauce On Your Vag....

I'm sitting @ the library with my girlfriend. Not really, but really. :) She's the one who will be wearing the tux @ our wedding. I'm drinking Kool-Aid, it makes me feel like a kid. We took some artsy photos with microfilm...you will be able to buy our black and whites soon. We are real geniuses. Truly. Oh, and I forgot to mention; we have taken the plunge! We will officially be living together next year! Yay! I should be doing my homework. I have a history research paper due and I need to write my outline and thesis. Yuck, I am so over homework. I wish I could repaint the walls in this library. Maybe an Aqua, or Bright Yellow. I feel like I am in a large white room. I guess I am. Let's all ponder what 313b means. I am staring at it and thinking I might want to take a look. They caught my eye. My phone died. And I am worried that if there is in fact a real serial killer in this library, no one will find me. It happens, I'm not crazy. Anyways, I should get back to the H to the W. Love you lotz fellow bloggers! Bye